


Hanging On By A Thread

by bellachanmustdie



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe, BDSM, Dom!Frank - Freeform, Dom/sub, Drama, Falling In Love, M/M, Safe Sane and Consensual, Slow Build, sub!Gerard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2018-10-18 05:32:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10610286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellachanmustdie/pseuds/bellachanmustdie
Summary: Gerard desperately needs money to support his sick brother and he will do anything to earn money, even if it’s signing a long-term contract to be someone’s sub.





	1. Chapter 1

“I’m very sorry, Mr Way,” Dr Johnson offers sympathetically. “But your brother needs to undergo to all the tests that we talked about a few days ago.”

Gerard doesn’t look at her and he's fighting back the tears threatening to flow. “I understand, Dr Johnson. I’ll see what I can do," he tells her weakly. "I’ll be back by the end of the week.”

Gerard stood up and shook her hand, offering her tired, sad smile.

As Gerard walked in the hallways of the hospital that always smells like bleach, he needs to find a way to earn more money, legal or not to support his brother.

-

At a very young age, even before he can learn his ABC’s and numbers, Gerard learned that it’s very hard to survive in this cold, cruel world. Their parents abandoned him at a very young age and even before Mikey learn how to walk. It was thanks to his kind grandmother, Elena who raised them, taking two jobs until she suddenly succumbed to a disease with a name too long for Gerard to remember and understand. And a few months after Gerard turned seventeen, his grandmother died.

And when Gerard turned twenty-three, Mikey was diagnosed with leukemia. Mikey is the only one left in his life and Gerard will do anything for him. College is definitely out of the picture for Gerard’s future and so he started working three jobs, all part-time. But his salaries are not enough to pay his brother’s growing hospital bills and he needs earn money no matter what with the short notice that the hospital's gave to him.

He thinks that maybe he could sell drugs. Then he felt his gut suddenly plummets because he  made a promise to Mikey before that he’ll never do something illegal. He wonders if James still sells and if he can help him with his problem.

Gerard needs fifteen grand by the end of the month.

-

“You like _her_ ,” Gerard teases his brother one afternoon when he’s visiting him in the hospital. Mikey can’t hide the blush in his cheeks, smiling at his brother rather sheepishly. Mikey still looks pale, but at least the doctor now allows him to walk some distance as long as his nurse is around.

Gerard passes him a slice of apple in which he shyly nibbles. “Stop teasing me, please. Seriously, I can’t help it. Kristin’s very pretty and she's kind. She’s different from all the nurses that they assigned to me before. She treats me as a friend and I like it.”

“I’m glad to hear that you have a new friend,” Gerard says softly. “Well, it isn’t hard not for people to like you, Mikey. And oh, the doctors say your body is reacting positively to the new medication and if this continue and see a significant improvement in your immune system, they can finally administer you a stronger medicine for your condition.”

Mikey studies his brother. Gerard looks like someone who hadn’t slept for weeks. His eye bags are dark and he’s visibly losing weight. Mikey took his hand and squeezed it. “Gee, you don’t need to do all of this. You already know that I’m dying.”

Mikey leaned over and kissed his brother’s forehead. Of course, Mikey _knows_ even if Gerard hadn’t told him a single thing about his problem, and the bills they need to pay.

Gerard cries silently. He feels hopeless.

-

The cold breeze of February wind hit his face as Gerard stepped out of the hospital. There’s still an hour left before he starts his shift at the local bookstore. He knows dealing drugs is very risky, and worse he may end up in jail, but this is the only way he can earn the money he need to pay for his brother's medical bills. He’s not sure, but he starts to think that maybe earning a thousand bucks from dealing will help him pay a couple of the test Mikey had to undergo, and then he calculates that if he deal more drugs in the next few weeks, maybe he'll be able to finally pay all their outstanding bills. He knows that James sells other drugs aside from the regular weed for college kids. He just have to be careful. Gerard knows he cannot afford to fuck this up, not when his brother needs the treatment that Dr Johnson told him.

He started to feel sick, but Gerard need to do this. He dials a number of his last resort.

 _“What do you want?”_ James spat at the other end of the line.

Gerard takes a breath. “I need money, James.”

There’s a long pause before he heard James heaved a deep sigh. _“Sorry Gerard, I can’t offer you any quick fix to you problem right now. I stopped selling for a while. The police are on my tail so I need to hide. And remember Big Bert? They caught him last week.”_

“Shit.” James is his only hope to come up with the money he needed. “Holy shit, James. No, I need money. You’re the only one I know that can help me with my problem. It’s for Mikey’s treatment.”

Gerard tried his best not to cry, but his chest feels heavy. He’s so screwed. There are only couple of hundred bucks left in his bank account, and he’s stretching that as much as he could to survive until his next paychecks, which mostly goes to Mikey’s hospital bill and other expenses.

 _“I’m really sorry Gerard,”_ James says and Gerard was about to hang up when James cleared his throat. _“But there’s this other job that I know where you might earn more money.”_

“What?”

_“Do you know Ray Toro? The bartender at The Fifth?”_

“No,” Gerard answers back.

 _“Well, you can go there tonight. Tell Ray my name and that you learned about the job from me,”_ James instructs him.

“Okay. Thanks James.”

There's a short pause when James suddenly says, _“But I’m not sure if you’ll like the job.”_

“James, I’m willing to sell, that’s how desperate I am right now.”

 _“Well, if you says so,”_ James says.

"I gotta go," Gerard says before he hangs up. He can visit The Fifth after his shift ended that day.

-

Gerard studies Ray as he gave his customers a sweet smile while very professionally mixing drinks and flawlessly transfers it to the clear glass. Gerard ordered beer, the cheapest drink that this fancy bar offers because that’s what he can only afford. Ray didn’t judge him for his order, just smiled at him as Gerard starts to drink his beer, sitting just behind the bar counter.

When the customer sitting next to him finally leave and Ray took his bill and wiped the counter, Gerard cleared his throat and looked at Ray.

“Bad night?” Ray asks, probably it’s the standard bartender-customer conversation starter.

“Well, you can say that,” Gerard shrugs. “Actually, I’m here because I need a job. My friend tell me to come here and look for you.”

Ray’s jaw flexes, the smile from his face now gone. Ray left him and started to mix a drink. After a short while, he places the fancy drink in front of Gerard.

“It’s on the house. I know you cannot afford it,” Ray says very bluntly which should offend Gerard, but it’s the truth. “Say, who's this friend of yours that you get the information from?”

“James.” Gerard took a sip, and holy shit, it burned his throat but it’s tastes very good.

“James eh, that guy still dealing?" Ray asks.

Gerard shakes his head. "He says he stopped and he's hiding from the cops. Hey, you're not gonna report him, are you?"

Ray smiles at him. "Of course no. I know him for quite some time and he's a good guy, only made a few wrong choices. Just like you. So I have to say no to you," Ray says and Gerard’s jaw drop. He didn’t saw this coming.

“Please,” Gerard is desperate. “I need money.”                 

“First, what’s your name?”

Gerard swallows thickly. “My name's Gerard. Gerard Way.”

Ray studies him and from the movement of his eyes, he’s probably taking note of his black hair, how pale his skin is, and maybe how dark his eye bags are. Gerard swallowed again and a single drop of sweat slid down his brow. He started to feel uncomfortable now under his scrutiny.

“Yeah, just by looking at you, I can see that you’re desperate for cash. But you’re too young, Gerard,” Ray finally speaks. “Exactly how old are you?”

“I'm twenty-five.”

Ray’s eyes still surveys him. “Very legal, but I really don’t think you can handle the job.”

“Just exactly what the hell is the job we’re talking about? I really have no idea, but as you said it, I’m very desperate for money and I will do anything.”

Ray raises an eyebrow, eyes flashing amusement to Gerard’s revelation. “Anything?” he drawls.

Gerard swallows the huge lump in his throat and nods.

Ray leaned forward and for a split second, he thought this bartender will kiss him. But Ray only smirks as he notice the panic on Gerard’s face and whispers near his ear.

“What do you know about BDSM, Gerard?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the support!

Gerard didn’t have a normal childhood. Growing up, he was the weird kid at the corner who draws comic book characters in each page of his textbooks. He have no friends, got ignored by the cool kids and was constantly picked on by bullies and jocks. Unlike his brother, Mikey have a normal school life and was liked by teachers and classmates even without trying. It was also Mikey’s fault that Gerard took his classmate named Lindsey to the prom. Lindsey is nice and just thought that Gerard is just a quiet kid.

(Gerard was thankful to Mikey that he went to the prom with a date because at least he didn’t get bullied by going alone.)

It was also Mikey who helped him understand some things in life that Gerard is embarrassed to ask about. Gerard hates himself for not knowing things about sex or masturbation because apparently he cannot be bothered by the hormonal changes that happen in his body as he grows up. He was horrified when he woke up one morning with his hand stroking his dick and it was Mikey who told him that it’s normal and that he shouldn’t feel guilty about it. He didn’t have a father to enlighten him about these things and what he can only remember was from the Sunday school kid’s retreat that he joined and the nun telling them not to do funny things with their body. Also, Gerard probably fell asleep while the teacher is discussing sex ed to their class, so he didn’t learned any other opinions about this matter. But no one can really blame him for not knowing because after class, Gerard helps his grandmother clean the apartment complex or offices she got sent to by his job. Aside from cleaning houses or offices downtown, his grandmother also works in a hospital as an aide.

But now he remembers how his dick got interested when saw the sweet curves of Wonder Woman or the naked girls in Playboy magazine. Mikey owned the magazine and he probably stole it. When Gerard was a teenager, he blushes after he masturbates. Now that he's older, it’s more of release than pleasure.

Gerard didn’t really have the time to think about what his body wants or discover ways to enjoy sex more, not after Mikey was diagnosed with his condition. Gerard had to work really hard and save money so he can afford Mikey’s medicine and to provide him with proper, healthy foods. Mikey cannot live on ramen, beers and take-outs anymore. His time is now divided between all his jobs and taking care of Mikey.

It was one lazy afternoon while Gerard is working on his shift at this local art store when he received a phone call from the hospital that his brother was in the emergency room. That according to the reports, Mikey passed out and hit his head hard on the floor. Gerard was twenty-four when this happened.

-

Gerard wishes that he have Mikey by his side right now to enlighten him again because it feels like he’s that teenager again who woke up one morning and realizing he was touching his dick.

There’s an amused smirk playing in Ray’s lips as he pulls back, crossing his arms. Gerard was _speechless_.

“Judging by that look, I already know the answer,” Ray says, pulling back and grabbing his bar rag and starts wiping the counter again. “That’s why I cannot offer you that job. I don’t know what kind of trouble you are in and why you need money, but this job is definitely _not_ for you.”

Gerard muttered a curse word before emptying his glass of free fancy drink. He looked at Ray briefly before lowering his gaze. Gerard completely missed the amused look that passed in Ray’s face like he just discovered something spectacular. “But it’s just about sex, right?” Gerard says. “I... I can do it.”

“Nope. You’re wrong, kid,” Ray replies. He’s still observing Gerard. “It’s not just about sex. Basically my job is to find subs and hook them with doms and I get a cut in the process. This is not just about fucking, Gerard. There’s more to it. And just to be clear, it isn’t always tied to sex. Sometimes sex is negotiable. It totally depends on what’s written between the dom and sub’s contract.”

For Gerard, it sounds like this is a whole new world of prostitution. Gerard was okay to dealing drugs this morning and now he’s here talking to a guy who is a pimp.

“This BDSM thing sounds complicated,” Gerard heard himself said. He don't understand why there's a contract involved in this kind of business.

Ray rolled his eyes and Gerard’s shoulders sagged for being a complete idiot about BDSM. “That’s why I cannot offer you this kind of job. I’m paid by rich, powerful men to find them subs that can meet their needs.”

Gerard blinks. “Men?”

“Yes, men,” Ray repeats. “Currently there are no female dom in my list who's looking for a sub.”

“But I’m not gay,” Gerard informs him quickly.

“Well, another reason why this is not a job for you,” Ray responds back with a smirk. He leans forward once again. “Tell me Gerard, do you want someone to punish you using a paddle? Someone to tie or blindfold you?” Gerard breath hitched, and his heart starts to pound faster against his chest. He can imagine it happening and something cold settles in the pit of his stomach. “Imagine it is a man doing those things to you? Does that interest you or do you think it’s disgusting, huh?”

Gerard blushes profusely, voice caught in his throat. He drops his gaze all over again.

“And now, imagine if it’s in your contract that sex shouldn’t be a problem. Can you take that? Are you willing for a guy – your dom to fuck you? For someone to stick his dick in your virgin ass? Looking at you, I won’t be surprised if you suddenly reveal that you’re a 25-year old virgin.”

“I’m not a virgin.” Gerard manages to say, his face red.

Ray cocks his hips. “Then good for you!” Ray mocks and Gerard deflates even more. “But you don’t have sexual encounters with men, right?”

Gerard’s silence only proves that Ray is correct with his assumptions.

“Anyway, you’re wasting my time, Gerard. Do me a favour, would you? Come back here when you know what you wanted – if you really wanted this. There’s more to this than what you just read or hear from other people. Being a paid submissive is not something you suddenly decide that you are because you heard that you will make good money out of it.”

“Wait. Can I ask how much money we’re talking about?” Gerard asks quietly, unsure if Ray will respond.

Ray shrugs. “It depends. But some subs earn twenty grand.”

Gerard felt his jaw drops. “Twenty grand?” he repeats. It’s more than enough for Mikey to take all the tests Dr Johnson told him about.

“ _Twenty grand a month._ ” Ray corrected and there again the same amused smirk on his face.

-

Ray observes the guy as he occupied the stool behind his bar counter and ordered the cheapest bottle of beer that they offer. He looks like a man on a mission and one quick glance at his face is enough for Ray to figure out why he’s in his bar. The guy nursed his beer for a half-hour or so before he asked something about the job.

But he cannot just offer him the job right away, not when the kid doesn’t even know what he’s asking for. He doesn’t even have any idea about bondage and submission, but Ray knows the kid is special. Gerard might not be aware, but he’s a natural submissive. He cannot even maintain a simple eye contact with him and he's so unsure with himself. He suddenly thinks what kind of problem this kid got that made him desperate to earn money. Ray knows that desperation can do crazy things to a man. He doesn’t mean to stir his interest even more by answering him how much money he can earn by being a paid sub.

But Ray isn’t just someone who hooks submissives to dominants who are willing to pay. He didn’t lie when he told Gerard that there is more to this industry.

Ray suddenly wonders if Gerard will be back.

-

Gerard isn’t a virgin, but he can count in both hands all his sexual encounters – and all women. All were casual hook-ups mostly happening in some parties he got invited which is of very rare occurrence. But he never fucked a guy before, or got fucked by any guy.

Gerard is primarily attracted to women and he never really considered sex with a man. But the idea of doing sexual activities with a man doesn’t really turns him off – strangely it interests him. He remembers Jack from Mikey’s old job at the record store who flirted with him and asked Gerard if he is good at giving head. Gerard just laughed and brushes the whole thing off as Jack being drunk and the lack of girls in the party. He flat out refuses, but Jack didn’t stop from his sexual innuendos. He’s still friends with Jack and he sometimes visits Mikey in the hospital.

Now that Ray told him about this new world, he is intrigued _._ He’s curious how does it feel to be paddled, or someone penetrating you. And the amount of money involved is unbelievable and he knows Ray isn’t even joking.

Gerard powered up his old laptop and waited five minutes for it to boot up. Wikipedia isn’t the good place to start reading about BDSM but at least he’ll become informed by the terms. He also picked up his old notebook and started taking notes, but mostly about submissives.

It was mostly about terminologies and definitions (it’s Wikipedia), and the different kinds of play involved. His homework ended by checking porn website about bondage videos.

He’s not really into watching porn to get himself off, but he reasoned that tonight is purely for educational purposes. His dick didn’t get interested watching the man slapped this lovely girl’s ass, while this said girl is tied and blindfolded. The video ended with a girl blowing his dom and then the dom finally fucking her from behind.

And the girl is fucking leaking, good lord. And she came so hard, Gerard believes that sub squirted. The magnitude of her orgasm is earth shattering.

Gerard finished watching the whole video while fisting his cock. There are more recommended videos below and he promptly clicked the next one.

It’s a bondage video between two men. Gerard watches the sub intently, because he knows well that is what he’s going to be once he go back to Ray and pleads to give him a job. His interest perks up when the dom penetrated his sub and fucked him into oblivion. Gerard’s cock is rock hard as he watches the sub licked the come from his dom’s cock. The sub had a look of both complete bliss and contentment.

But what happens next completely blows Gerard’s mind.

The dom starts cleaning his sub and it’s not supposed to be sexy at all. Then the sub settles on his lap and the dom starts gently petting his head.

Gerard wonders how does it feel to have someone take care of you and hold you the way this dom hold his sub, just to press your head against someone’s chest and forgetting all your worries, even if it’s only temporary.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going forward, any medical terms, treatments and explanations that are mentioned are probably very inaccurate. Please don’t trust me on this, I got them from Dr Google. Again, this is fiction...

At first, they all thought it was just simple fatigue.

No one really suspected (neither he nor Mikey knows their family history) and they all thought it was due to Mikey working irregular shifts and his poor diet. In the following months, Mikey began complaining about some unexplainable pain in his lower back. Add to that was when people start to notice that he was losing weight too.

His manager became suspicious as well as he often calls in sick that it already affects his business and seriously considering firing Mikey.

It was actually an accident how they found out Mikey was _sick_. He have a fever for more than a week and Gerard decided to bring him to the hospital though Mikey protested that there’s no need. The doctor found out that his brother has an enlarged spleen. His problem with his spleen causes him to be prone to infection which explains why Mikey often got sick. It was also the reason why he often feels tired. His doctor suggested a change of his brother’s diet aside from the medicine and antibiotics that he prescribed.

Changing Mikey’s diet and his medicine helped for a while. They noticed he’s gaining his old weight back.

Mikey was only twenty when they found out what his _real_ condition is. Mikey was only supposed to get a check-up for his condition but the doctor requested for an x-ray and more laboratory tests which kept Mikey in the hospital for one night. Then that one night unexpectedly turned to one week after Mikey suddenly got pneumonia.

It took five days when Dr Johnson, the resident oncologist to deliver the lab results of Mikey’s test. When Gerard asked Mikey what the doctor told him, Mikey just smiled and told his brother how much he loves him.

Gerard instantly knew something is very wrong. He asked the nurse if he can talk to the doctor who was attending his brother.

“There has been a misdiagnosis from the physician who attended your brother before,” Dr Johnson tells Gerard. “I received Mr Way’s urine, blood and bone marrow test lab reports this morning and your brother is diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia.”

Gerard blinks. “ _Leukemia_?”

“It’s a type of cancer...”

_“Cancer?”_

And anything else that Dr Johnson explains fades out in the background. 

“I’m really sorry Mr. Way... We’re running more tests... He needs to undergo... ”

Gerard feels his heart sink to his stomach, gut twisting in ways unimaginable and unbearable. “––My brother has cancer?”

-

But luck is still on Gerard side as he received his salary right on time, plus bonuses which are left unexplained but he knows it was his manager’s little ways to help him with his financial problems. Gerard was able to pay for Mikey’s new drugs and for the blood IV transfusion for his anemia but his medical bills are still growing as the day goes by.

The new combination of drugs that Mikey’s doctors prescribed to fight the infection works well, aside from the new drugs to lessen the pain. His brother’s supportive care team delivered this news enthusiastically and are optimistic that if this positive reaction continues on then the Dr Johnson may proceed for induction therapy for his cancer. Gerard felt relieved and for months – it feels like he can finally breathe normally again. He knows the doctors can’t push forward with the chemo, not when Mikey’s level of healthy blood cell is very low.

-

Before, Gerard’s time was previously divided between his jobs and taking care of Mikey. Now it includes his late night study about bondage and submission.

Gerard, in no way, will ever claim that he now knows everything about BDSM. It was only three weeks since he became aware about this and how much money he can earn if he’ll become a paid submissive. But knowledge coming from articles and watching bondage porn are maybe not the best way to learn but at least now he’s far more informed of what Ray is asking from him.

He starts to lists down his hard and soft limits down his notebook. Of course he doesn’t know what all his kinks are given his number of sexual encounters but he knows he doesn’t want anyone to pee on him. He also began with the most basic thing about submission, and that’s kneeling and walking on all fours. Every night he will practice kneeling down but it seems so wrong and awkward. It also made his legs and calves very sore.

Gerard lets out a humourless laugh after he call it quits and sits back to the sofa, now his lower body seems like being assaulted with fire ants. He thought that maybe he had now gone crazy when he decided to start learning submission for money. It’s not really different from becoming a hooker, but in this business someone will _own him_ and will do whatever the fuck the guy wants to.

All he can hope that the whoever the dom that will hire him will respect his limits.

Gerard fired up his old laptop and began watching porn again.

-

“You looked different, Gee.”

A curious frown forms in his younger brother’s face as Gerard finished telling him how his day was. “What do you mean?” Gerard asks.

“You seemed preoccupied with something,” Mikey wonders, eyes narrowing as he surveys his brother’s features. “You know, you have this unique look on your face when you are working on something interesting, like that look when you told me about this idea you have for a comics." Mikey suddenly had a light-bulb moment. "Wait, did you start drawing again?”

Gerard leaned back, raising an eyebrow. He wasn’t aware that he schools such features whenever he is busy learning about something – in this case, bondage and submission. Apparently his brother knows him very well. “No. I don’t have time for that anymore, Mikey,” he answers, shaking his head. It's the truth and there's no way he will tell Mikey about his plans of becoming a paid sub.

It is also true that Gerard misses drawing but given how miserable their life turned out and all the bills they have to pay, picking up his pencils and sketch pad and trying to make money out of it is filed farthest in his brain right now.

Mikey grabs his brother’s hand and squeezed it softly. “Well I hope you can start drawing again, Gee.” Mikey says optimistically, smiling brightly at him.

Gerard can only nod in agreement with what his brother wishes for him but he knows it’s very impossible to do right now.

Mikey then starts telling him how his day went. He told Gerard how many times his doctor visited him and the story about rosebushes behind the hospital. It was his nurse Kristin who told him about it. She was very optimistic that Mikey will get well from his condition and promises him that she’ll take him there once the roses starts to bloom.

Another hour passes by when Mikey’s doctor, Dr Johnson enters his room.

“How are you, Mikey?” Dr Johnson asks before looking down his chart.

“I’m feeling good,” Mikey replies, smiling.

After a few moments of Dr Johnson checking Mikey’s chart, she gladly announces a news. “Based on your recent test results, I believe we can now push through to therapy very soon.”

Gerard positively beams at Mikey. “That sounds great.”

“Yes it is. Can I talk to you in private, Mr Way?” Dr Johnson spoke directly at Gerard. “I already discussed this to Mikey before but I need to discuss the procedures and some documents you need to sign.”

Gerard followed Dr Johnson until they reached her office.

“I met with your brother’s supportive care team earlier and we can now push through with your brother’s chemotherapy perhaps even sooner but they still need to monitor your brother for another 15 days. But I also need to talk to you about your brother’s current health coverage as it doesn’t cover the expenses for his therapy.”

Gerard knows this. He likes Dr Johnson and she’s aware about their money troubles and she had already offered all kinds of help to cut his medical bills. Gerard then felt the cold dread settled in his stomach again as Dr Johnson explained the procedures and how much it will cost.

He knows it’s about time to visit Ray again.

-

Gerard brought his notebook where he wrote down the things he learned about bondage and submission. He knows that _these_ aren’t enough and it doesn’t help his case that he lacks in experience too. But despite all this, he already made up his mind because he’s doing this not for himself but for his brother.

Gerard was completely surprised when Ray looked at him as if he’s already expecting for his return.

"I’m here to discuss my terms, Ray,” Gerard says by way of greeting, sitting down in one of the bar stools available opposite Ray who’s wiping the counter with his bar rag. “Twenty grand but I need half paid upfront or no deal.”

Ray smirked, eyes surveying Gerard’s face. “You sure?”

Gerard nodded and he looked determined.

“Very well then,” Ray hid the bar rag under and wipes his hand using a different towel. “Let’s talk about this in a private setting, shall we?”

Ray whistled once, grabbing the attention of a young man wearing white dress shirt with black apron who’s cleaning one of the round tables. He’s wearing a red bandana tied around his forehead.

“Man my station for a while, Alex,” Ray instructed.

“Yes sir,” Alex says, slipping inside and replacing Ray behind the counter. He gave Gerard a smile.

Gerard can only guess that this guy Alex very well knows why he’s here.

-

Gerard followed Ray inside the room just upstairs the bar that he owns. Gerard grips the strap of his messenger bar, his heart beating fast against his chest. His throat’s gone dry too and his sweat terribly cold, but he needs to show Ray that he’s determined and won’t change his mind no matter what.

Once inside, Gerard noticed that there’s only one square oak table standing in the middle with two chairs on opposite side, one wooden while the other one Gerard is very sure is covered with genuine leather aside from being soft and comfortable. Gerard looked around and saw there are two security cameras and that’s all – no other furniture or even fancy decorations.

“The room’s soundproof – no one will hear your scream when I kill you,” Ray informs, tone amused. Gerard doesn’t know if he’s kidding or not.

“Of course it’s only a joke,” Ray amended. Apparently the guy is a mind reader too. “Please sit,” Ray offers the wooden chair while he occupied the other one.

“Okay,” Ray says as he pulls a brown folder out from a briefcase – and how Gerard didn’t notice that Ray has a briefcase in his hands? “We’re about to discuss your terms. You want twenty grand but ten paid upfront, right?”

Gerard nods.

“Speak up when I’m asking you a question,” Ray says with a gaze boring into his very soul. Ray opens the folder and Gerard could see there are papers with some texts written.

Gerard’s stomach flips, mentally scolding himself. “Yes.”

“Then what are your terms?” Ray asks, pulling a fountain pen out from his briefcase.

Gerard swallowed; his grip impossibly tightens around the strap of his bag. “My hard limits are, okay, no needles – I’m deathly afraid of them. No knives or any pointy or sharp stuff, please. No drawing of blood. Cross-dressing too ─”

“Are you sure?” Ray abruptly cuts him. “You look like someone who’s okay to cross-dressing.”

Gerard reconsiders this, but, “No please. No cross-dressing. Golden shower is also my hard limit, no baby act. I don’t want to be put in a diaper or suck a pacifier,” Gerard can’t help but grimace.

“Go on,” Ray says as he continues writing what Gerard says in the margin of the paper.

“I’m okay with humiliation – he can call me any names and that's okay. Sensory deprivation, but I need him to tell me exactly when will the scene will end. Orgasm delay is okay and he can leave bruises, but no blood of course... And oh, I’m okay with pain, like paddles, whips, wax...”

“I guess you really did your homework,” Ray says with a grin as he scribbles down. “Anything to add?”

Gerard shook his head when he remembered Ray’s instruction earlier. “No more.”

“Okay then. But we’ll talk about your terms again and renegotiate as often as we need if along the way you learn something that makes you uncomfortable or you consider as your hard limit. You talk to your dom about it and then you come to me and we'll talk and renegotiate your terms with your dom.”

“Oh.”Gerard was both surprised about this because he didn't know that renegotiating terms even if the contract is already ongoing exists and he is positively relieved by this knowledge. “T-that sounds great.”

“Gerard, you need to trust me,” Ray explains, eyes again looking straight at Gerard’s very core, leaving him cold. There’s something about this guy that makes Gerard fear him. “We operate on trust though you are uncomfortable – yes, you are uncomfortable talking about this,” Ray shushes him when Gerard is about to say disagree. “I am not a monster. I won’t give you to a dom whom I know won’t meet your terms and conditions. This is why we will have a contract. I can guarantee you that I will not send you to someone who abuses his power and won’t respect you as a sub.”

“Thank you.” Gerard breathes out, touched by this.

“Again, you need to trust me. And if by any event you found that you are not comfortable to what your dom is asking you to do something that is not included in your contract, you need to tell me immediately.”

“Such as?” Gerard inquires.

"Forcing you to take illegal drugs, giving you away to another dom, video-taping your activities. Anything that is considered illegal, isn't safe, not sane and non-consensual. And if in any event any of these happens, which we hope won't ever happen, the contract is terminated immediately between you and your dom and you need to see me as soon as possible so I can take immediate action against your dom." 

Gerard actually smiled hearing this. "I understand."

“Good,” Ray passes a paper and his fountain pen. “Here is your contract. Read it very carefully – it’s about you rendering your services as a sub. Your terms and conditions aren’t included there as you don’t have a dom yet. But we’ll talk about it again once I found a dom that will want your services.”

Gerard nodded. “Got it.”

Gerard skimmed on what’s written in the paper – he understands that it’s really only about him becoming a paid sub and his protection and rights under the law and what he is giving up, based on the terms and condition that he and his dom will agreed upon. There’s also a line below where in any event that he will be harm while on job (meaning he died – Gerard actually felt a cold drop of swear rolls down his cheek when he read this), Ray Toro and his dom will be held responsible and accountable and will face all the charges that will be pressed against them.

Gerard signed the dotted lines and gave the paper back to Ray. Ray slipped the paper inside the folder and offers his hand, in which Gerard shook and noticed his hand had also gone cold.

“But before anything else,” Ray says, pulling his wallet out from his pocket and counting a few one hundred bills. “Here is one thousand dollars. Consider it as a signing bonus or whatever, I don’t care what you call it. But you need to get tested and give me the result as soon as possible. And you need to buy decent clothes – just several dress shirts and new pants, and maybe shoes too. When I call you for your meeting with your potential dom, I need you to look at least professional. Do you understand?”

“Yes and thanks for this,” Gerard says, accepting the money and pocketing it.

“Good. You also need to give me your number,” Ray says, passing his pen again and a scratch paper. Gerard hastily writes his number down but still legibly.

“Great! I’ll see you again, Gerard ,” Ray says as he gathers the papers with his number inside briefcase. “Remember to give me your test results ASAP and expect a call from me this next week.”

“Okay. Thank you, Ray.”

Ray dismisses Gerard with a wave.

-

Gerard received a call from Ray when he was in the hospital, visiting his brother.

 _“Where are you?”_ Ray asks from the other line.

“I’m in the hospital, why?” Gerard asks. Mikey suddenly stopped reading his magazine, frowning at his brother. Gerard immediately stands up and exits his brother’s room. It has been a week since he last saw Ray when he gave him his test result, looking not surprised to know that there’s nothing wrong with Gerard’s junk.

_“I finally got someone who’s interested with your profile and judging from our initial conversation, he appears to agree with your terms without any reservations. But he wants to renegotiate your price.”_

“Wha- _why?_ ” Gerard asks. “Is it because I’m inexperienced? Or?"

 _“No, not that,”_ Ray immediately answers back. _“In fact, he doesn’t care that you’re new to this. But he says the price is only ten grand.”_

“But Ray, you know that I _need_ the money,” Gerard stresses hardly, trying to compose the right words to say because no way he will lower his price to half. And he clearly remembers that's he explicitly mentioned that it's a no deal if he didn't get twenty grand, half paid upfront.

_“As your middleman, my advice is for you to talk to him first and ask him why he's cutting the price in half. He probably has a better deal but─”_

“It’s not a better deal if he’s lowering the price in half, goddamnit,” Gerard points out.

 _“You can definitely say no to his deal,”_ Ray replies back, telling him the very obvious. _“But you need to talk to him first because I already set the meeting tonight.”_

“Well I guess there’s nothing I can do then.”

_“He expects you to come here by 8PM.”_

“At your bar?” Gerard asks.

 _“Yes. You’ll have the meeting where we discussed your terms. You need a neutral ground to talk about your terms,”_ Ray answers. _“And wear something nice.”_

“Yes, I remember.”

_“Great, see you tonight. And by the way, his name is Frank Iero, don’t forget.”_

Ray hangs up before Gerard can even give any reply.


	4. Chapter 4

Gerard rushes back home for a quick shower and to change from his normal clothes to his decent ones which he recently bought, all thanks to Ray. He didn’t spent what remains from the money and decides to save it for Mikey.

He studies himself in the bathroom mirror and thinks he’ll pass Ray’s inspection. He even washes and dries his hair and used the only hair gel product sitting in his cabinet which he thinks already passed its expiration date but he doesn’t give a damn. It doesn’t give any awful smell yet and does a good job keeping his hair neat and presentable. He believes he now looked decent and normal – one who’s only out for the night probably to have some fun and not one who’s desperate for money (he is, though).

But it doesn’t mean he’ll say yes to what this certain Frank Iero _proposes_.

He arrived at The Fifth ten minutes after eight, which means he’s already late. Gerard went straight to the bar counter, dodging some already drunk patrons though it’s still very early and saw Ray is happily chatting with a blonde guy who’s occupying one of the barstools. He also sees Alex delivering beers to some customers and he gave him a warm, welcoming smile.

But it’s completely a different reaction when Ray saw him, shaking his head for being late and giving him a stink eye for it. But eventually he smirks after he sees what he’s wearing which speaks loudly of his approval and that made Gerard smiled shyly back at him. Then the guy Ray’s talking to also turned his head and looked at him from head to toe, which for sure is inappropriate but Gerard just shrugs it off. He wonders if most people who drop by here know Ray’s other business and if there are others like this guy who’s silently judging him too.

The blonde guy shrugs, says nothing and went back drinking from his bottle.

“You’re late,” Ray states and Gerard meets his scrutiny. He immediately lowers his gaze, feeling the heat spreading to his cheeks. “Go. But knock first before you enter. He’s already waiting upstairs.”

“Thanks,” Gerard mumbles.

Gerard excuses himself and walked through the sea of crowd before he reaches the private door which hid the stairs going to the same room where he and Ray talked about his terms. Upon reaching the door, Gerard knocked first, thinking it’s a way to inform the person whose inside about his presence. But Gerard didn’t hear any response and so he decided to open the door.

When Gerard agreed to meet the dom who’s interested with his profile, Gerard expects him to be old, maybe past in his forties and who’s possibly successful in whatever area of profession he’s in or maybe he came from money or both... someone who’s stable enough financially to pay a submissive who’ll engage with his kinky sex.

But this guy, Gerard is very sure he can’t be in his forties. There’s _no way_ for this very handsome man to be old.

 _This man,_ Frank Iero is young and Gerard thinks he’s probably three or four years older than him. He’s comfortably sitting in the chair – the same one that Ray occupied last time, leaning back with his eyes transfixed to his phone, obviously reading something judging by the movement of his eyes. He’s wearing a nice, crisp white dress shirt with the sleeves casually rolled up which shows both his arms are heavily inked. Gerard also noticed that this man have other inks in his hands and some peeking from his collar.

Frank looked so young to be a dom. He doesn’t even look like the kind of person to have hidden kinks and willing to pay someone to engage with it.

“Don’t just stand there. Take a sit.”

Gerard was startled with his voice and he immediately sat down on the same chair he occupied last time. He can’t stop looking at Frank who’s still scrolling his phone.

Gerard noticed that there are some documents in the table, one that he recognized was the contract he signed last time. Also sitting on top of the other papers is the document with Ray’s notes in the margin. And there are some other documents he doesn’t recognized but are heavily scribbled and highlighted.

When Frank finally looked at him, Gerard tried to meet his gaze but only able to do in three seconds before he lowers his eyes. He missed the smirk that formed in Frank’s lips.

“Ray gave me your profile,” Frank says by way of greeting, picking up the document with various highlights and scribbles. “And you want twenty grand?”

“Yes, Mr Iero,” Gerard replies though he knows it’s a rhetorical question.

“Call me Frank.”

“Okay.”

“And I believe Ray already told you my price and I’m willing to bet that he already advice you to say no, right?” Gerard nods and Frank smirks. “So what do you think?”

Gerard cleared his throat before he gave him his answer. “I’m sorry Frank but I will have to stick with my original terms.”

“I have a new proposal,” Frank counters in such manner that whatever he says will make the person he’s talking to agree. Frank threw the document he holds towards Gerard’s direction.

Gerard was completely horrified when he saw what’s written in the documents.

“ _Shit._ ”

He jaw dropped, unable to say any word anymore. Gerard picked the document up and starts reading _his own profile_ – profile which he already knows the details because _it’s his fucking life_ _history_ and a complete list of his personal information, the schools where he went to from kindergarten to high school, the names of all his family members up to his second degree cousins and if they’re still residing in New Jersey, his bank account number... And when he flipped the paper and read the next page – now about his sick brother, his diagnosis and how much money Gerard owes to people, his horrified expression was quickly replaced with anger, his nostril flared and he had this burning desire to throw the document back in Frank’s face.

“What the fuck meaning of this?” Gerard seethes, waving the document and almost crumpling it. “Did you hire a fucking _PI_ to know why I’m doing this _huh_?”

But Frank’s expression didn’t change and he looks like he will still win no matter what. This douchebag even leaned back and crossed his arms against his chest, smirking.

What Gerard wants now is to punch that annoying smirk in his face.

“I had to protect my business,” Frank suddenly says smugly and not giving a damn about what Gerard feels. “I guess Ray didn’t tell you who I am and what I am capable to do. But there’s no need for me to explain that to you now. And besides, why would I agree for a meeting if I don’t have any idea who you are? What if you turn out to be someone who’ll hurt my business? I cannot let that happen, right?”

What Frank says makes sense on his part, but still. It doesn’t warrant the guy to dig up everything about him.

“I’m not stupid to hire a submissive who can destroy my business and my name,” Frank adds, his eyes focused on Gerard and had gone dark. “And that explains why I have those information about you. But you don’t have to worry though. I learned that there’s nothing about you or your past that might affect my name and my business.”

This kind of stunt that Frank pulled made Gerard sick to his stomach. “I- I think I’m just gonna go, Frank. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“But you haven’t even heard what my proposal is.”

Gerard tried to open his mouth, to say _fuck you for pulling this bullshit to me_ but he chose to not say anymore. He stands to leave when Frank speaks again.

“My proposal is I will pay all your debts, your brother’s hospital bills and even pay all the people you owe money too even if it’s a single cent but I want our contract for six months and that’s non-negotiable.”

Gerard blinks, sitting down again. “What?”

“You don’t have any hearing problems based on your medical records so I believe you heard me just fine,” Frank snarks, uncrossing his arms and picks up the contract Gerard signed a week ago. “And you’ll still be paid ten grand each month. Ray’s cut from your services will be paid separate and won’t come from your salary. So how does that sounds?”

Gerard belts out a humourless laugh. This guy must be insane.

“So you’re offering me to solve all my financial problems for an exclusive six months deal? Are you out of your mind?” Gerard says because this guy is unbelievable.

But Frank looked serious and unaffected. “My offer is to pay for your brother’s hospital bill and that includes all the medical treatments and therapies that he requires. I will pay for all his medical expenses until our contract is terminated after six months unless _both_ of us decide for an extension. And I believe you also have outstanding debts amounting to less than five thousand dollars to some questionable money lenders in which I am also willing to pay.”

Gerard decided that Frank had gone mad because this proposal is way better and generous than the twenty grand he’s asking and it’s very hard to say no to this. He’s not even thinking about hitting this guy in his face anymore when he violated his privacy by running a background check on him.

“I- I want to hear about your terms though first before I agree into anything,” Gerard counters back with confidence. He won’t say yes to his offer, not yet when he doesn’t have any knowledge what kind of weird kinky shit this guy might suddenly pull.

Frank smirks at him as he picks up the document where Ray scribbled his terms in the margins. “Generally I’m okay with your limits and everything that you listed that are okay for you to do, except for humiliation because I don’t want to call you any names like _slut_ , _whore_ and all their synonyms,” Frank says coldly, this time he grabs a pen and crosses humiliation out from the list. “Will that be a deal breaker to you or...?”

 “It’s okay.” Gerard answers too quickly. Frank huffs a laugh.

“You don’t mention anything about sex toys. Specifically I like to use plugs, cock rings, vibrators and dildos to my submissive.”

“I’m also okay with those,” Gerard says quietly, feeling his face getting warm. He never have any prior experience using any of these and given the knowing smirk that still plastered in Frank’s face, Gerard knows that Frank is aware of this.

“I read here that you’re okay with sensory deprivation. That’s good,” Frank says and he’s looking straight in his eyes. “I may use blindfolds, gags, leather cuffs, chains and ropes but I will always be within distance and would never leave you unattended. I’m not into rape play or ask you to act as a furniture. Anyway, you didn’t mention anything about your safeword here in your terms though. I understand if you opted not to mention it to Ray. So do you want to use your chosen safeword or shall we use the red, amber and green?”

Gerard actually forgets to tell Ray anything about his safeword because he really has no idea what his safeword is yet and not because he don’t want to tell him. “Uhm─”

“Personally I prefer if we would rather use a safeword,” Frank says mildly. “But if you like to use the traffic light system, that will be fine too.”

“I prefer using a safeword too,” Gerard says simply because he doesn’t have an idea how the traffic light system works. “But I haven’t decided what my safeword is so if it’s possible I’ll just tell you later.”

Frank shrugs. “No problem. _If_ _you agree_ with my proposal then you can tell me later.

“Of course,” Gerard murmurs. 

“I think I covered everything. You’re terms listed here are very straightforward and I agree with it but with the exemption of humiliation which we already crossed out,” Frank says, his tone gone more serious and very business-like. “Your job as my submissive is to please me – to do whatever I ask you to do but respecting your boundaries and limitations. What’s written in Ray’s contract – which you signed and I trust that you read it thoroughly will always be superior to the contract that we will agree upon. It means that if you agreed to my proposal where it states that _I want you_ for six months but for some reason, one of us breaks a rule and did something illegal, then our contract is terminated immediately. The contract you signed gives you protection the same way Ray protects me under the contract we signed before.”

“So do you mean to say that those are only your terms?” Gerard manages to say because the guy seems to have pretty average kinks.

“Yes. That’s all,” Frank says. “But along the way, and I know Ray had already told you about this that we can renegotiate our kinks depending if it’ll make you or me uncomfortable or either of us discovered something that we want to add in our hard limits or if we want to try it out. Anyway, I won’t discuss the time I will need you, how you will be paid and my additional instructions until you agree with my proposal.”

Frank is smiling – an honest to god sincere smile as if he isn’t talking and negotiating about sex and kinks. But if Frank says he didn’t see any garbage that might hurt his business and Frank seems like a guy who wouldn’t use Gerard’s _not-really-interesting_ life history against him, then he feels this is the best deal for him.

This whole deal makes him nervous because he’s practically selling himself. But this is for his brother and that’s what important now.

“Okay,” Gerard answers finally after a long pause. “I agree with your proposal, Frank.”

Frank nods, licking his bottom lip and Gerard blushes and swallows. “Okay, so first thing you need to learn is to call me either by my name or _sir_. I won’t allow you to call me _daddy_ or even _master_ or else you’ll receive a punishment.”

“ _Yes sir_ ,” Gerard tests, feeling the weight of that word in his tongue. It seems very natural and appropriate. Frank felt his breathing speeds up as he heard Gerard called him sir for the first time.

“Next is I need you to be in my house exactly 6 pm every day, Monday through Thursday and then you are free to leave at 7 in the morning the next because I have work. But sometimes I will be working from home in which you are expected to be in my house as well. My driver can pick you up from your place or do you prefer to commute?”

Picking him up from his place means he’ll save money. It’s an excellent perks. “It will be nice if your driver can pick me up.”

“Excellent. It’s very different though for Friday nights as I expect you at 8PM but you leave Monday 7 in the morning.”

“Oh.” There’s a problem with what Frank is asking from him. It means he’s staying at his place most of the time and won’t see Mikey often. “But Frank, how about my day off? Can you free up my Sunday? I’m always in the hospital that day.”

Frank’s jaw tightens. “No."

Oh yeah, he's still an asshole, Gerard thinks.

"You have free time every Monday to Friday before your on-call time. I don’t think it’s necessary for me to give you any day off.”

Now that Frank owns almost half of his time every single day, it means he’s lose time for his shift and visiting his brother. “But Frank, how about my job?”

“ _Your job?_ ” Frank says it incredulously “What? Your 4-hour shift in the bookstore or in the record store? Or are you talking about that local art and crafts store whose owner doesn’t pay the right minimum wage? Here’s what you’re going to do: you’ll give them your notice first thing tomorrow morning or our deal is off.”

Frank’s practically his boss now and this is his full-time job. But he won’t earn ten grand every month with his part-time jobs. “Okay sir.”

“I’m glad we’re clear on that but... Okay, I believe I can give you Sunday morning. I won’t be at home from 8 in the morning up to 1 in the afternoon every Sunday so you can have your mornings off but you are expected to be at my house by 3PM. How does that sounds?”

Gerard actually smiles when he got his Sunday back until 3PM. “Thank you.”

“Also, there will be nights where I won’t be available due to the nature of my work and I will let you know as soon as possible, either by text or call.” Frank adds. “I also want to talk about my policy regarding drugs and alcohol. You’re not allowed to take them when you will be working under my hours and breaking this rule will result to termination of our contract immediately.”

That won’t be a problem because Gerard doesn’t do drugs and he only drinks occasionally.

“I’m also included to this rule, that’s why when I will be invited to functions or events where it’ll be hard for me to stay away from drinking, expect a call from me telling you not to come to my place. This is an important rule for me because there is no way we’re doing a scene when either of us is under the influence of drugs or alcohol.”

Gerard wonders if Frank speaks from experience or something else. But it makes him at ease to learn that Frank have rules like this. “Okay, sir.”

“I don’t have anything else to add,” Frank says mildly. “How about you? Do you have any questions or do you want to add something to your terms and limits?”

Gerard thinks for a while and then he shook his head. “No sir.”

Frank produces an expensive-looking pen out from his trousers front packet and started scribbling. “Today is Thursday and it’s the fifteenth next Wednesday. We’ll start that day, 6PM. Our updated contracts will be available by tomorrow and you can pick up yours from Ray. If you wish to have a copy of my contract too, feel free to ask Ray and he’ll give you a copy. Bring it next Wednesday and if you have any question or if you want to clear something up, then we’ll talk about it. By the way, this conversation is recorded and Ray will write our contract. It’s important that he got everything that we talked about on record.”

Gerard actually starts looking around looking for any recording devices.

“No one really knows where he hides it,” Frank informs him with a laugh. “You don’t have to worry though. Ray just protects his business and he wants everything clear and organized.”

“Yeah, it’s okay. I don't mind it at all.” Gerard says truthfully. He’s not worried that Ray keeps record of their conversation.

“I have a question though, I hope you don’t mind me asking,” Frank suddenly says, curious. “I read that you got a scholarship to SVA. Why didn’t you take it?”

Gerard looks away. “I have a feeling you already know the answer to that question, Frank.”

“Well, I have an idea why but I want to hear it from you.”

Gerard wonders why Frank is interested with his failed dreams. “Our parents abandoned us when we’re young and my grandmother died when I was seventeen. And Mikey’s young and I can’t just leave him alone. It's only full-tuition and I still need to pay for my art supplies and textbooks and I can’t afford it and Mikey is the most important person in my life, so it’s not really hard to make a decision.”

“I understand that and now you’re doing this for your brother. Anyway, I’m looking forward seeing you on Wednesday, Gerard,” he purrs, licking his lower lip and Gerard followed the movement of his tongue. “I’d like to kiss you right now but that’s breaking one of the conditions I signed in my contract with Ray.

Gerard felt his jaw had gone slack. “ _W-what?_ ” Gerard felt his face heats up by his embarrassing squeak.

“I’m not allowed to touch you yet, not until we both sign our contracts,” Frank says with a smile and Gerard felt something warm in his chest.

Gerard has no idea what to say.

“You’re now allowed to leave,” Frank suddenly says and his tone turned business-like once again. He starts collecting the documents.

“I- , yeah, I’ll go,” Gerard says and stands up to leave. “I’ll see you this Wednesday.”

Smirking, Frank watches Gerard as he leaves the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic, Frank is older than Gerard. Gerard is 25 and he won't ask Frank what his age is. Frank is maybe 31-32 in this fic.


	5. Chapter 5

The shock of agreeing to a six months contract with a man he barely knows came the next day.

Gerard’s body jerks awake, heart thumping so loud against his chest that he feels it’s going to burst at any moment. He immediately turns his coffeemaker on before he went to the bathroom to relieve himself, washes his hands and then splashes cold water to his face.

There’s a mixture of awful feelings going through inside him which makes him want to vomit. Coffee only made his insides feel even bad that it almost hurts.

Gerard thinks that Frank looks normal judging from their conversation alone. He sounds like someone who’s used to discussing contracts and very knowledgeable in negotiation. He doesn’t know what Frank do specifically for a living but he mentioned that he has a job and that’s why in their contract he set Gerard’s on-call time for his own convenience. That means his time to use Gerard for sex.

It is the sex that makes Gerard anxious. He’s getting paid for sex and for Frank to use him in any way he thinks will please him but respecting his limits, if Frank _will_ _follow_ what is in their contract. Trust is one of Gerard’s issues because honestly, he doesn’t trust Frank yet and has no idea what the guy is capable of. He had heard enough stories and news about hookers and rent boy that were killed while in their ‘ _job’_ while some were physically abused and assaulted. Remembering these are more than enough to make him sick.

But he remembers Ray and the contact he signed which says will protect him. Frank mentioned that he signed a similar contract. Gerard wonders if that piece of paper alone is enough for Frank to feel at peace and not worry that his paid submissive will kill him in his sleep.

There’s actually nothing for Gerard can do anymore but to wait for Wednesday to come and see for himself what will happen. If he drowns himself with personal worries then he’s probably only digging an early grave for himself and that’s not okay. He reminds himself that he’s doing this for his brother. He’s never backing out not when someone is willing to pay for Mikey’s medical bills.

-

Gerard went back to The Fifth later that afternoon after he gave his notice to all his part-time jobs. All his managers didn’t ask or say anything horrible and just wished him luck to whatever the fuck he plans with his life. He already expected this kind of response from them because it’s not an important job and he’s easily replaceable.

Every day the Fifth’s opens past noon in order to cater people who want to have a late lunch. It’s an above average kind of bar where one can dine and hang out but by night the other side of the room transforms to a dance floor.

Ray wasn’t around when Gerard arrived to pick up his contract. There are only a handful of booths occupied and Gerard found Alex manning behind the bar counter and doing his duties. He smiled when he spotted Gerard.

“Hey,” Alex calls with a smile. This time he’s wearing a yellow bandana tied around his forehead, and has a day-old stubble and his eyes are sparkling. “Gerard, right?”

Gerard nods his head slightly. “Hi. I’m looking for Ray. Is he around?”

Alex shook his head. “Our boss usually arrives before six in the evening every Friday.”

Gerard frowns. “Your boss?”

Alex mixes a drink and gives it to Gerard. He noticed a rose tattoo on his left hand. “Don’t worry, it’s non-alcoholic, on the house. And yep, Ray’s our boss. He owns this bar.”

“Really?” Gerard says incredulously before he takes a sip from his glass. “Oh wow, this is good, thanks. But hey, why does he, you know...” Gerard gestures the bar and the various bottles of fancy beverages behind Alex.

“Bartending? He said he likes it and he’s very good at it. Ray said it would be a shame if he didn’t use it. Actually he can easily hire someone but refuses to.”

Gerard nods in understanding. “How about you?”

“I guess you can call me his personal project,” Alex says with a wink. “Like a protégé but I doubt he’ll ever call me that _ever_. He likes calling me brat though. Anyway, he’s the one who taught me how to mix drinks. But my main job here is I wait tables but Ray thinks I will earn more if I man the bar from time to time.”

“That’s very nice of him.”

“I agree. Anyway, I know why you’re here,” Alex says and he ducks his head under the counter and grabs something. He produces a brown envelope and passes it to Gerard. “Ray told me to give this to you if you swing by when he’s not here. He also said not to open that here.”

Gerard nods and slides the brown envelop inside his messenger bag. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Alex grins before he leans forward and rests his forearm on the counter. “And good luck. You can trust Ray, you know. Actually he’s the most trustworthy and nicest guy I ever met that sometimes I wonder if he’s real.” Alex laughs as if he’s reminiscing something from his past.

Alex of course knows Gerard’s reason why he’s here in this place, no need to beat around the bush. “I’m trying to, but it’s hard.”

“Oh man, I suddenly remember my first time,” Alex tells him with a smile. “I was a nervous wreck and─”

Gerard sputters. “Wait, are you trying to tell you’ve done this before?”

“Of course,” he answers truthfully. “Only twice though. Anyway, my only advice is for you to trust Ray. If he says he'll protect you, then he will. I saw him once destroyed a dom who violated one of the conditions that he signed. Anyway, I apologise we cannot exactly talk about _that_ here anymore.”

Gerard nods. “I understand.”

Alex grabbed something under the counter and it’s a tissue paper and pen. He starts scribbling. “Anyway, here’s my number. Call me if you need someone to talk to, okay?”

Gerard takes it and smiles. “Thanks Alex, I appreciate it.”

Alex winks at him again and pats his left shoulder. “Good luck.”

-

Deciding not to worry is easier said than done. Aside from thinking about his contract, Gerard also can’t stop thinking about Frank.

The conversation that they had is purely business and the way Frank handles himself, Gerard knows he’s a powerful man. He negotiates in a tone that brooks no opposition. And then Frank expresses his desire to kiss him which is totally unexpected and made the pit of his stomach feel warm. Weird.

Gerard reviews his contract once he’s at his home. It’s incredibly well-written, concise and lists down everything that they talked about last night. The envelope also includes a copy of the contract he signed with Ray and then a copy of Frank’s test result.

What’s only missing is for Gerard to sign the dotted line of his new contract with Frank. He decided it could wait until Wednesday.

-

Gerard arrives in the hospital before noon the next day. It was unusual because he’s always working during weekends and he always arrives in the hospital before six in the evening every Saturday and Sunday for the past five months.

He can’t believe it has been that long since Mikey got admitted in the cancer ward.

But before Gerard can enter his brother’s room, Dr Johnson stops him in the hallway, a warm, pleasant smile on her face. “Do you have a minute, Mr Way?”

Gerard nods and follows her to her office. He’s been to her office so many times that he already memorized the interior as if this is his own house.

“I received a notice from the billing department this morning,” Dr Johnson says, sifting through her files and when she finally found the one she’s looking for, she shows it to Gerard. “All your outstanding bills have been paid by this foundation and we’ve been informed that for the next six months we should forward all your bills to them.”

Gerard starts to read what’s written on the paper. He’s not familiar to the name of the charitable foundation but he knows there’s only one person who’s responsible to this. “Yes, Dr Johnson. I know about this.”

“Wonderful,” Dr Johnson says with a smile. Gerard gives the paper back to her. Then Dr Johnson starts filling him in with information about the medication that they will provide to Mikey for the following week. When she finishes, still smiling at Gerard and says, “Please, don’t let me keep you.”

Gerard nods before he moves and leaves Mikey’s doctor’s office.

After Gerard have his lunch and watches Mikey as he takes a nap that lazy afternoon Saturday, Gerard’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

_I already paid all your bills & debts._

Gerard paused for a while, his fingers hovering over the keypad. He have a lot of question but he decides to reserve those later. He sends a text back to Frank.

_What if I decide not to sign the contract?_

Frank’s reply came seconds later.

_I’m sure you’ll sign the contract._

Even through a text message, Frank sounds he will get what he wants.

-

Gerard spent most of his time in the hospital, only leaving at night to sleep and then return the next morning with any food that he can bring. Mikey frowns at him and he definitely notice his brother’s unusual presence in his room but didn’t ask him any question. They spent most of the time recounting their stories from their childhood and whenever Mikey starts retelling him once again about his dreams of being part of a band and having a wife and kids in the future, Gerard blinks back the tears and promises Mikey that he will recover and his dreams will come true one day. Gerard also grabs Mikey’s hand more often and then he curls by his side during afternoon when Mikey’s sleeping. Gerard feels the strong desire to stay by his brother’s side forever and never leave him again. He feels safe when he’s with his brother. There’s also an ache in his chest and he wants to tell Mikey about his plans and fears but he doesn’t. By Tuesday night, he kisses Mikey in his forehead and holds his hand tight, with a promise he’ll do anything for him.

By Wednesday, Gerard spent his morning in the hospital and left after lunch. He tells Mikey that he has a new job that starts tonight and leaves it at that. Mikey never asks a lot of question and just told him to take good care of himself.

While he’s on his way back home, Gerard received a message from Frank asking him where to pick him up in which he replied that he’s at his home. Frank replied that his driver will pick him up at his house by 5:30PM.

He spends the remaining hours nervously pacing back and forth across his bedroom and feeling terrified. He hasn’t done anything yet he already feels exhausted.

-

Exactly 5:30PM when Gerard hears someone knocks on his door. He quickly grabs for his messenger bag and slung it over his shoulder before he pulls the door open.

“Good afternoon, Mr Way.”

Gerard gapes at the blonde man. The man just smiles at him rather pleasantly.

“You’re the guy from the bar,” Gerard blurts out and the man laughs.

“You’re correct. My name’s Bob. I’m Frank’s personal driver,” he introduces himself and offers his right hand. Gerard shakes it, his eyes surveys his face.

“Nice to meet you, Bob. And please, just call me Gerard,” he tells him politely as he locks his door.

“I understand,” Bob says and rushes forward the black, gorgeous car and opening the door for Gerard whose eyes had gone wide by the gesture. Gerard slightly nods and climbs inside. Bob walked to the other side of the car, slides into his seat, wears his seatbelt and starts to drive.

-

Gerard decides that he likes Bob. While driving, Bob only asks him how his day was and they spent the remaining minutes in the car in total silence. He appreciates that he doesn’t ask any question because he knows he won’t be able to provide him answer. When Bob stopped the car, Gerard glanced to his left and saw a two-storey suburban house. After he jumps out of the car, Gerard immediately noticed that it’s a nice, peaceful neighbourhood. There are neat bushes and shrubs around the houses, the grasses are neatly trimmed and there are a few individual big trees which really make this neighbour a real beauty compare to where he lives.

“Please follow me,” Bob announces and they start to walk towards the house. He produces a key from his pocket and opened the door. “Frank is in his home office. He also lives alone.”

It’s a beautiful, cosy house with modern furniture and a few pieces of art pieces hanging on the wall. There’s a wooden, carpeted staircase in far left going to the second floor. Gerard closely followed Bob and they reached a closed door with some intricate designs and patterns. Bob knocks and after a few second hears someone responds from the other side.

“Hey,” Bob says as he opened the door. “I’m here with Gerard.”

“Send him in,” Frank says and Bob hold the door open for Gerard. Gerard walked inside and he starts to feel nervous and stops himself from craning his neck and take a good look around Frank’s home office.

He heard the door shut closed behind him and he’s now alone with Frank. Frank is sitting down a rather large and obviously comfortable black plush chair behind the large desk. Still very handsome, his dom is dressed in the same manner as he saw him last time though this time he’s wearing a tie but already tugged loose. In addition, he’s wearing a pair of reading glasses with black frame. There are documents scattered over the table and a chrome laptop on the side.

“Did you bring your contract?” Frank asks after a short pause and looks up at him through his reading glasses.

Gerard opens his bag and gets the brown envelope out. He walked towards the table and gives the envelope to Frank. Frank didn’t open the envelope and just put it above the stacks of documents.

“I’ll ask Bob to deliver our documents back to Ray tomorrow,” Frank says. Gerard is standing awkwardly beside the table. “I still have to work and compose a few e-mails. You can wander around the house for a while and familiarize yourself, just don’t break anything. Return here after thirty minutes.”

Gerard nods. “Yes sir.”

-

Gerard wonders if Frank sending him out of his room and let him wander around his fancy house is some sort of a test. He can actually leave the house and run away but he didn’t, of course. He’s still very nervous coupled with exhaustion he can only think is because he’s thinking too much.

Gerard takes his time walking through Frank’s house. He takes a good look at everything this man possesses, drinking in the amazing art pieces hanging on the wall and taking note of the brush strokes and the artist’s style. Next he checks the living room where there’s a huge flat screen TV mounted on the wall and a tripod-style floor lamp in the corner. There’s a huge forest green couch that can fit two grown men and still have room to move and a minimalist glass coffee table in front of the couch. He also takes his time and walks to the kitchen which is very modern with luxurious features and stainless steel appliances and fixtures made in polished chrome. The kitchen also had beautiful black marble countertops and exotic cabinets and a large customized island in the middle with six forest green barstools around it. There's a polished white door next to the kitchen which revealed to be a washroom. Inside is a beautiful large glass vessel sink above the green marble countertop. The walls are made from marble and the floors are tiled and there's a stunning walk-in shower with a simple glass door. It looks like it's never been used judging by how clean the washroom is and the absence of water stains.

After checking the kitchen and the washroom, Gerard slowly walks up the wooden staircase. The steps are covered with soft and plush dark red carpet and he could feel his feet sink in every step. Gerard slides his hand along the smooth polished bannister until he reached the second floor. Past the staircase reveals the door to the master bedroom. Gerard decides not enter the bedroom and gingerly closes the door. Gerard was surprised though when he opened the next door and reveals a wall full of vinyl records and another wall are lined with wooden bookshelves filled with various hard and soft bound books. He also noticed the three guitars mounted on the wall, all are electric. There's also a drum set in the corner, amplifiers and an acoustic guitar propped on stands beside it. There are speakers in every corner of the room and a beanbag in the middle.

When there’s nothing more to check at, Gerard went downstairs and decides to spend the remaining minutes sitting on the couch, fidgeting nervously. And when it’s time, Gerard knocks on Frank’s door and hears him calling him to come in.

Frank is seating behind the desk but he’s not wearing his reading glasses anymore and the documents are gathered neatly in a pile next to his laptop.

“Did you eat yet?” Frank asks.

“No sir, not yet.”

Frank stands up, pushing his chair away. “Let’s have dinner first. You can leave your bag here.”

Gerard nods dutifully and leaves his bag in the corner table. Gerard follows Frank to the kitchen who walks over the coffee machine and starts making coffee. Gerard pulls up a barstool at the kitchen island and sat and the kitchen starts to smell of coffee roasting.

Gerard watches as Frank moves around, picking pans and taking ingredients out from the refrigerator. He opens the cupboards and pulls out some cans and a bag of pasta. Frank grabs a pot to start boiling water for pasta and puts a pan in the other stove for the sauce.

While Frank is chopping tomatoes, he looks at Gerard who watches him with interest. “We’ll start after dinner. So what is your safeword?”

Gerard's heart thundered wildly against his chest and for a moment he forgot why he's here when Frank is moving around the kitchen like that as if Gerard is his visitor and not his paid submissive.

“Ziggy, sir.”

“Ziggy,” Frank repeats with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Yes sir.”

“Okay. My safeword is Ripper.”

“Wait, why do you need a safeword?” Gerard asks, wondering. He thought only submissives need safewords.

“Though submissives are usually the one who uses safewords, actually doms need to have a safeword too, for example is if the scene has gone too far and can't continue anymore. I can use my safeword if that happens.”

Gerard nods in understanding. There’s a long pause, the only sound is Frank’s knife hitting the chopping board. “I- Frank, I want to ask you about something, I hope it’s alright” Gerard says because this question cannot wait anymore.

Frank nods. “Go on.”

“Mikey’s doctor told me it’s a charity that paid for my brother’s bills.”

“And that is incorrect. It’s a private foundation that paid for your brother's bills, not a charity.” Frank says with a smile. “The information’s out there in the internet. You didn’t do any research about me?”

Gerard blinks. Um. “No, sir. I didn’t.”

Frank clicks his tongue and then he resumes moving around the kitchen and put the pasta in the boiling pot of water and stirs the sauce. He pulls bread out of the breadbox and put a couple of slices in the toaster. He turns around and looks at him. “I’m surprised that you didn’t. All the information about me is out there. Anyway, what I can only tell you is that it’s my company’s non-profit organization where we invest half in support of education and the other half is for funding cancer research and help cancer patients. You know I cannot just cut you a check with my name to pay for your brother’s medical expenses because that may rouse suspicion to my _other_ activities. Everything is legal though so you don’t have to worry.”

Gerard isn’t sure if he’ll believe when Frank says not to worry. He just nods and Frank turns to grab the coffee from the coffee maker. He pours the coffee into two mugs and gives one to Gerard. He also placed the sugar, milk and teaspoon for him on the island counter.

“Thank you,” Gerard says as he accepts the steaming mug of coffee from Frank. He pours a teaspoon of sugar and some milk.

Frank takes a sip from his mug. “Before I forgot, I have a duplicate key in a bowl near the door. That’s yours and make sure you lock the door before you leave every morning.”

“Yes, sir,” Gerard replies.

They drink their coffee in relative silence and after a few minutes Frank starts moving again around the kitchen. Gerard almost finishes his mug when Frank slides him a plate full of pasta with red sauce and a slice of toast bread. Gerard felt his stomach growls and he realizes he’s very hungry and his mouth waters. He thanks Frank again for the meal and they start to eat. Gerard was intent not to meet Frank’s eyes as he eats his dinner but Frank doesn’t seem to mind. When they finished, Gerard volunteers to wash the dishes and Frank thanks him and went upstairs.

Gerard finished washing the dishes when Frank returns, this time he’s wearing black shirt and grey sweatpants. “After you finish, go to the washroom, take your clothes off and leave it there. There’s a spare toothbrush, towel and soap under the sink too. I’ll see you in the living room.”

Gerard blinks and Frank’s orders sent shivers running up and down his spine. He gives Frank a silent nod and turns around to washes his hands. Gerard drags his feet to the washroom, his whole body trembling, wondering if it’s from anticipation or fear. He washes his face with cold water first, his own reflection looking back at him. He looks very pale and there are dark rings under his hazel eyes. His fingers reluctantly find the hem of his shirt first and remove it, next are his pants and boxers. Gerard could feel his pulse pounding in his ears and he takes a deep breath. He’s not comfortable being naked in front of other people but this is his job now and he needs to do this for his brother. He gathers all his clothes and neatly left it inside the high cabinet.

Gerard comes into the living room and sees Frank lounging on the couch and his dark eyes drinking him in. His face starts to blush, slowly spreading over to his neck. Gerard noticed that the huge TV is on but the volume’s low.

“Do you know how to kneel?” Frank asks, tongue running over his lips.

“Yes sir,” Gerard answers and he moves close to Frank and gracefully kneels down, head down and arms crossed behind his back.

“Very good,” Frank praises and Gerard blushes even harder. He felt Frank’s fingers thread into his hair.  

This is the first time Frank touches him.

“Relax for me,” Frank says as he cards his fingers through Gerard’s hair, petting him. “You’re so tense. For now you don’t have to put your hands behind your back. I want you to relax.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” Gerard moves his arms and put it gently above his thighs.

“No need to apologise,” Frank says and his voice is soft and soothingly. “We’re going to try something, okay?”

Gerard could feel his muscles gone stiff again, but the way Frank runs his fingers through his hair makes him relax. He’s confused with his own body. He lowers his head and nods, unable to reply.

It appears that Frank doesn’t mind his lack of response. “Okay Gerard,” I want you to take a deep breath. Inhale,” Frank says in a low voice and Gerard did. “Exhale.”

“Take a deep breath again, Gerard. Inhale, then hold it. _That’s good, baby_. _Very good..._ Exhale...”

Gerard did but he felt himself blushes furiously hearing him calling him baby. They repeated the exercise a few more times until finally Gerard feels calmer and he’s only focused on Frank’s voice and his touch.

“How are you feeling?” Frank asks softly from above, still petting him and then his hand rested behind his neck. His hand is warm and strong, fingers curled possessively.

For some reason Gerard cannot explain, he could feel his body leans closer to Frank. “I’m okay, sir. Thank you very much.”

Frank gently holds his left elbow and help Gerard stands up. Gerard blinks and he lets Frank pulls him to his body until he stretches down on the couch with his head on Frank’s lap.

“ _Oh._ ” For a second, Gerard thought Frank will pull his cock and make him suck it. “W-what are we going to do?”

Frank starts running his fingers through his hair again. “We’re gonna watch TV. You can close your eyes if you’re not interested but don’t fall asleep on me, okay?”

Gerard looks up at Frank and saw there’s a fond, contented look on his face. Gerard doesn’t understand why.

There’s some kind of business-related documentary on TV and Frank starts to watch, but he never stop petting Gerard. Gerard tries to keep his attention on the TV but it’s honest to god boring to watch and he decides to just close his eyes and listens to the low voice discussing how inflation rate affects the economy and the way Frank’s fingers moves through his hair soothingly.

Gerard has no idea how many minutes or hours passed. The calm stillness stopped him from thinking about his worries and the weight of Frank’s hand on him helps immensely. He cannot explain what’s he is feeling but for the first time in months, or maybe years, Gerard finally feel relaxed.

“Gerard,” Frank calls him softly, his warm hand now resting on the back of his neck. Gerard blinks and then he looks at Frank. “Time to go to bed.”

Gerard doesn’t have enough physical and mental energy to think about the implications of what Frank said and he just nods and allows Frank hold him on his elbow possessively while they both climbs the stairs. His legs are wobbly but Frank is there to help him walk as they enter the master bedroom.

Gerard takes a first look around the room he refused to enter earlier. The room is dark and when Frank switches one of the lights on, Gerard immediately noticed the dark green drapes that are covering the windows. There's also a king-sized bed pushed against the far wall. The bed is covered with dark green silk bed sheets and soft-looking white pillows propped against the headboard

“I want you to kneel on the center of the bed,” Frank instructs him and Gerard could only nod and then climbs in to the bed. Slowly he starts to feel anxious and vulnerable in the middle of his dom’s bed, naked.

Frank joins him in the bed a few minutes later and settled comfortably in front on him. He put his right hand over his heart. “Nervous?”

“Yes sir,” Gerard says truthfully. “I’m sorry. I... I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Don’t worry,” Frank assures him and moves closer to his body. Gerard felt his heart speeding up and he’s sure Frank knows it too. _“I’ll take care of you.”_

Gerard felt his chest tightens and he feels something warm settles in his stomach. No one had taken care of him in a long time.

Frank moves his head closer until he’s resting his head on Gerard’s shoulder. His left hand lay flat on his thigh. “Relax for me, Gerard,” Frank whispers, pressing kisses to his jaw and neck.

Gerard felt his body slowly going pliant and soft, arousal made him shiver helplessly.

“Very good, baby,” Frank says and then he kisses him.

Gerard had never been kissed by a guy before. He kissed girls before and their lips are very soft and sweet but all of them are not memorable. But this, Gerard knows that even if their contract’s over, he won’t forget this kiss. He feels his body is melting and on fire at the same time as Frank kisses him. Gerard closes his eyes and delights in the beautiful sensation of Frank’s lips gently moving against his. And then Frank brushes the tip of his tongue in his lips and Gerard let out a moan and opens his lips and Frank kisses him more deeply, exploring and tasting him. His kiss is intoxicating and warm but surprisingly still dominating.

An embarrassing sound escapes from Gerard’s lungs when he feel a warm, firm hand wrapping around his cock and he realizes that he’s hard.

“Frank... sir─” He’s breathing hard and his head spinning.

“Shhhhh...” Frank’s lips move to his neck again and start sucking hard, biting and nipping. Gerard whimpers, both his hands abusing the silk bed sheets. Frank continues to stroke his cock as he leave bruises in his pale neck.

“Fuck,” Gerard whimpers when he feels Frank ran his thumb over the tip and spread the few drops of precome around.

“You’re so beautiful, Gerard,” Frank whispers darkly, running his warm, wet tongue slowly on her neck. He speeds up stroking his cock. “Next time I’m going down on you.” And Gerard let out an embarrassing sound from the back of his throat, his promise making his head swim. Frank chuckles against his neck and Gerard could feel the vibrations in his chest. “And then I’ll fuck you.”

“ _Oh god, oh_ _─”_ All his moans and groans stifled when Frank crashes his lips against him once again. “I’m... I’m gonna come, sir─” he finally says when Frank breaks their kiss.

“I like it when you call me sir,” Frank tells him.

“ _Ah_ ,” Gerard gasps when Frank's hand strokes him faster and harder until his orgasm surges through his body, ropes of hot come covers his stomach, some flowing in Frank's tattooed hand. His orgasm was so intense that it made his mind swim and clouded his vision.

He didn’t notice that he already buries his face against Frank’s shoulder, breathing in. Frank smells good and strangely comforting.

A few moments passed and then Gerard saw Frank pull out his cock out and starts stroking himself. Gerard wants to take over and stroke him, even plead if he must but his body had gone weak and slack. Frank doesn’t seem to mind though, but he’s so pretty when he’s making those noises, panting and then he whispers his name and Gerard wants to hear it again. A few more strokes and his warm come spilling over his fingers.

Frank is still breathing hard when he pulls away from Gerard and gets up off the bed. Gerard actually _whines_ and he heard Frank chuckles softly. Frank returns back with a warm washcloth and wipes up the come from Gerard’s stomach.

“Thank you sir,” Gerard murmurs as Frank lays him down on the right side of his ridiculously very comfortable and soft bed. Frank lowers himself onto the bed, still wearing a shirt and sweatpants and pulls Gerard and nestles against his chest.

“How are your legs feeling?” Frank asks as he runs his hand through his hair. Gerard feels the rise and fall of his chest, his right hand rests close to his heart, curling possessively. Gerard finds it strange and wonders why he's doing it but he doesn’t want to dwell on that thought tonight.

“It’s not sore, sir,” Gerard says truthfully because it’s the softest bed known to man and Frank can tell him to kneel there all day long and he will do it in a heartbeat without any complaints.

“Hmmm good,” Frank says sleepily.

Gerard let Frank hold him close and he immediately falls into deep sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

There are a number of mornings where Gerard doesn’t want to wake up. Each night he’ll go to bed, feeling tired, lonely and overwhelmed with all the problems he’s constantly forced to face.  And every morning is a sad monotony all over again and what he want to do is go back to his bed, curl up beneath his cold blankets and go back to sleep.

This morning though is different.

Gerard wakes up with the memory of Frank wrapping his arms around him all night, of Frank gently kissing and touching him. But Frank wasn’t there anymore when he wakes up but there’s a faint smell of body wash and strong musk perfume lingering in the air when Gerard stumbled in Frank’s extravagant bathroom inside the master bedroom. He can only assume that Frank had already left for work.

It feels strange because a part of him wants to wake up with Frank on his side but he knows it’s wrong because Frank is not a lover and this is a job, that he should only be glad that he survived his first night and nothing else.

Now that he had the time to reflect what happened last night, his dom’s actions were very strange and confusing. It appears that this Frank from last night is different from the one he talked a few days ago when he renegotiated and agreed with their contracts. Frank from last night was surprisingly very caring, his voice so warm that it fills him with comfort, that when Gerard closes his eyes he can still hear Frank’s gentle voice murmuring against his skin. He can still feel his warm hands roaming against his bare skin, touching him tenderly in ways he'd never been touched before.

Gerard finds it strange why it makes him feel warm whenever he remembers what happened last night and he wonders why it makes his chest aches.

Gerard makes the bed as neat as he can. He’s not his maid and cleaning the house isn’t included in his contract but he slept ~~like a baby~~ there last night so the least he can do is to tidy the room up. It feels odd moving around the room naked too and that’s why first in his to-do list when he goes downstairs is to grab his clothes and then get his messenger bag from Frank’s home office.

While he slips back into his clothes that he wore yesterday, Gerard sees his reflection from the mirror and there are these purple bruises on his neck which are proof that last night really happened. That for the very first time, a man, _his dom_ – Frank jerked him off, his hand warm wrapped around his cock and surprisingly gentle in every stroke.

Before he leaves, Gerard takes a look around, just to make sure that Frank didn’t accidentally left any windows or doors open which will attract burglars.

Gerard suddenly wonders that it’s very odd that Frank had given him a spare key of his house. Wouldn’t it be better if his dom orders him to leave early, because seriously, Gerard doesn’t mind it at all. He wonders how Frank can easily trust him and leave him all alone in his house.

It takes Gerard twenty minutes to get to the bus stop by feet. His bus ride back home passes in a trance.

-

Gerard arrives in the hospital before lunchtime. It’s better now that he got more time to be with his brother and closely monitor any changes and improvements with his medication. It also feels good that he doesn’t have to worry how to pay all their growing medical bills and debts. But Gerard knows that he cannot afford to screw his new job because although all his brother’s medical bills were already paid, he still needs to make sure that Frank will honor his promise that he will pay all their bills for the next six months. He knows Frank is a powerful man and he can easily pulls out his support if Gerard screws something up.

-

Bob is ridiculously on time again that afternoon. Just like yesterday, he knocks on his door exactly at five-thirty, smiling pleasantly at Gerard. When they reached Frank's house, Bob holds the passenger door for Gerard as he climbs out.

"You'll find Frank in his home office," Bob tells him as he climbs back into the driver seat. Gerard gives a short nod in response. Bob smiles at him before he starts to drive the car.

Gerard starts walking until he reached the front door. He reaches into his jeans’ front pocket and pulls out Frank's duplicate key. Once inside, Gerard goes straight to the same door yesterday and knocked once, politely. It takes a few second before Frank finally responds and calling him to come in.

“Hi,” Gerard says as he enters the room. His dom looks the same like yesterday but this time he'd taken his suit jacket off and draped it over the back of his chair and his black necktie was still tight around his neck. He’s not wearing his reading glasses but he’s hunched over his chrome laptop.

 _“Strip,”_ Frank says casually, his attention is still to his laptop, his fingers moving over the keyboard.

Gerard felt a shiver runs up to his spine. His eyes widen and his jaw drops open. He’s startled with what Frank is asking him to do.

Gerard swallows thickly. _“H-here?”_

This time, Frank finally looked up on his laptop, raising an eyebrow. “Yes.”

A part of him wants to say no. He’s still not prepared for this, but Frank is looking at him very intensely from his chair.

Gerard gives his dom a short nod.

Slowly, Gerard removes his bag from his shoulder and gingerly drops it on the table near the door. Next he took his jacket off, and then his shirt. Frank stopped doing whatever he’s doing, his dark eyes watching him closely as he takes his clothes off.

When he’s finally naked in the middle of the home office, Frank beckons him to come forward. Gerard gives a short nod before he lowers his head and walks slowly until he's standing next to Frank.

Gerard was suddenly startled when he felt Frank wrapped his hand around his wrist.

“You’re tense again,” Frank notes softly from his chair and Gerard watches as his dom brushes a gentle kiss against his knuckles. Blushing, Gerard felt that strange ache in his chest again. His dom looks up and their eyes meet. “On your knees.”

“Yes sir,” Gerard answers right away and drops to his knees next to Frank. The floor’s carpeted but it is surprisingly very soft.

“This time, put your hands behind your back. Very good,” Frank praises him with a smile when Gerard does exactly what Frank wants him to do. “I think I still have at least another hour of work left. Will you be okay with it? If you feel that your legs hurt and you want to stop, you can safeword out.”

Gerard swallows. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to last that long kneeling for his dom but he wants to try at least. “Okay sir.”

“What’s your safeword again?”

“Ziggy, sir.”

Frank smiles at him again and threads his finger through his hair and then coaxes Gerard to lean and press his face against his leg. “Close your eyes and focus on breathing.”

Frank continues to stroke his hair soothingly. Gerard wonders if there’s something magical with his dom’s touch because it relaxes him instantly. Gerard did and closes his eyes and tries to focus on breathing.

But when Frank removes his hand from his head, a small sound of protest escaped from his lips. Gerard is suddenly surprised with the sound he made and wonders why.

“Focus on breathing, Gerard,” Frank says again but his voice suddenly turns low and firm.

Gerard tries to and focuses on breathing. He also noticed that Frank’s tailored pants are soft against his cheeks.

And as minutes passes by, Gerard starts to feel that he’s drifting. He doesn’t even feel uncomfortable kneeling on the floor naked. Slowly and with his eyes still shut, his breathing evens out and felt his body no longer tense. Then his attention slowly becomes smaller and smaller and he stopped thinking about his worries, his fears... He's also stopped caring about time. And before he could hear the soft sounds of Frank’s fingers hitting the keyboards but slowly the sound fades away and his world had now gone quiet.

 _‘This is wonderful_ ,’ Gerard thinks. He’s only kneeling but he feels strangely content where he is.

It’s very hard to admit, but Gerard feels that this is where he belongs. And all that matters now is Frank and he wants to stay here for good.

Suddenly Gerard feels Frank’s hand behind his neck and squeezing gently. “Gerard, open your eyes please.”

Gerard lifts his head and opens his eyes, slowly and he’s blinking like he’s seeing the world for the very first time. He sees Frank smiling fondly looking proud. It made Gerard’s chest swell.

“H-hi... Finished with your work?” Gerard asks slowly, his voice rough.

Frank moves his hand and runs it through his hair. “Yeah and you’re kneeling for me for thirty minutes.”

“What? Really?” It surprises Gerard that he’s able to last that long kneeling for his dom. He always finds kneeling hard and whenever he’s practicing this he always quits only after a few minutes. It frustrates him sometimes but this, now that he’s already someone’s submissive, he finds kneeling easy and right.

“Yes.”

“You finished early?” Gerard asks.

Frank nods and helps Gerard to get to his feet and then he pulls Gerard into his lap. Frank’s chair is sturdy and can hold their weight.

“You did great, baby,” Frank praises, gently cradling his jaw. “You made me so proud.”

Gerard blushes and Frank pulls him against his chest. Gerard’s nose is against Frank’s collar and he breathes in deeply. His dom smells good and it comforts him in a way Gerard don’t understand. He presses his body even closer and he felt Frank wrapping his arms around him.

“How are your legs and arms feel?”

“It hurts a little but I’m okay, sir,” Gerard murmurs against his neck and closes his eyes. Frank drops a kiss on Gerard’s head before he moved his hand back on Gerard’s neck and pulls him closer for a kiss.

Gerard knows they look obscene, with him naked and sitting on Frank's lap who's still fully clothed and they're kissing gently, slowly like they have all the time in the world. Frank deepens the kiss and Gerard slowly places his hands on his shoulders while Frank settles both his hands on Gerard’s hips.

They make out for a while and Gerard stopped worrying and caring that he's naked in his dom's lap, and he's probably messing his clothes, hopefully his dom wont mind. His grips on his hips tighten as kissing Gerard fully, deeply exploring his mouth with his tongue. Gerard wonders why he's enjoying the kiss so much and why it makes his head swim.

Frank finally breaks the kiss and presses his forehead against Gerard. And when their eyes finally meet, he sees that Frank is smiling at him and his eyes are soft and he’s looking at him fondly.

Gerard’s heart swells and he knows he is blushing. Gerard really needs to look away from Frank because he feels his heart is about to explode. He moves closer and hides his face in the crook of his neck breathing deep his dom's warm, comforting scent.

“Hey, are you sure that you're okay?” Frank sounds worried.

Gerard simply nods, his hands curl possessively around his shoulders. He doesn’t understand what’s happening to him and what he’s feeling.

Frank softly ran his hand up and down his back. “Come on, let’s have dinner.”

Gerard hesitantly pulls away and get off from his dom’s lap. Frank stands up and then grabs Gerard’s elbow and they exits the room.

“Go the living room. Don’t kneel; just sit comfortably on the floor near the couch. I’ll be back,” Frank instructs when they reached the bottom of the stairs. Gerard nods and goes to the living room.

After a few minutes, Frank comes into the living room carrying a wooden tray of food. He placed the tray down the coffee table before he sits down the couch and turns the TV on and flips the channel to the local evening news with the volume low.

Gerard watches as Frank takes the two tall glasses of OJ and put it down on the table. Then he lifts the tray and placed it on his lap. In the tray are two bowls of food and a plate full of bite-size sandwiches. One bowl is filled with sliced strawberries, grapes, and blueberries and the other is a vegetable salad bowl.

Frank takes one sandwich and brings it forward but when Gerard’s about to take the offered sandwich, Frank shakes his head.

“No,” Frank says. “Open your mouth.”

Gerard did what he was told and opens his mouth and Frank finger feeds him a slice. Gerard chews his food slowly.

Frank takes a forkful of his vegetable salad into his mouth before he feeds Gerard another sandwich. Frank continues to finger feed Gerard while he’s having his salad.

“If you’re thirsty, you can go ahead and drink from your glass without asking me,” Frank tells and Gerard noticed that Frank had already fed him more than half of the sandwiches.

“Thank you, sir,” Gerard says and takes a sip from his glass.

Frank continues to feed Gerard a few more slices of sandwiches before he takes a slice of fruit and popped it inside his mouth.

The strawberry tastes sweet and delicious. Frank finishes eating his salad before he feeds Gerard another slice of strawberry. But this time, Gerard licks his fingers clean, looking at Frank shyly.

Gerard hears Frank takes a deep breath, his dark eyes looking intensely the way Gerard moves his tongue around his fingers.

Frank pulls away his hand and he watches Gerard as he slowly chews his fruit. Gerard had acted purely on instinct. He felt that’s something his dom will enjoy.

It happened again and Gerard keeps on sucking Frank’s fingers clean after he pops a fruit inside his mouth. Gerard takes another drink from his glass when Frank takes the tray off from his lap and places it on the table.

“Thank you very much for the food, sir.” Gerard believes it’s only proper to thank his dom for feeding him.

“You’re welcome,” Frank replies, leaning down and pecks Gerard’s lips. Then he pulls Gerard close to his chest in which Gerard just goes willingly.

Frank leans back against the couch with Gerard on his arms and kisses him again. Frank hums as he wraps his arms around him and kisses Gerard gently. Gerard feels he’s melting against his dom’s chest especially when he opens his mouth and Frank kisses him deeply. But Gerard had to pull away just to breathe – he could feel his own pulse beating in his chest and head but Frank pulls him again for another deep and passionate kiss.

They kiss until Frank breaks it, yawning.

“Sorry,” Frank apologizes, stifles a yawn. Gerard can’t help but to smile. He dips his head to nuzzle his dom’s neck. “I’m tired. I almost fall asleep in the middle of the board meeting today.”

“Can I do something for you sir?” Gerard asks politely. He’s here to please his dom.

Frank starts to run his hand through his hair. “It’s alright. I think we should go to bed.”

Gerard nods and they both get off the couch. “Should I wash the dishes, sir?”

Frank shakes his head. “Nah, I’ll just load these to the dishwasher,” he says and picks up the tray. “Go ahead and use the washroom. I’ll meet you upstairs.”

Gerard nods. “Okay sir.”

Gerard goes to the washroom to relieve himself and takes his time to wash his hand and brush his teeth. He walks upstairs and enters the master bedroom.

The bathroom door inside the master bedroom is slightly open and he could hear the water running. Gerard didn’t know what to do next so he decides to sit down on the edge of the bed.

After a few minutes, Frank emerges out of the bathroom and he’s now wearing sweatpants and shirt.

“Lay down on the bed,” Frank says and Gerard did. Frank joins him after he turned the lights off and tossed his white towel aside.

Frank pulls Gerard close to his chest and brushes a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“Goodnight, Gerard.”

Gerard presses close to him. “Goodnight sir.”

It doesn’t take that long and both are drawn into a deep sleep.

-

“So Gee, are you gonna tell me what’s your new job?”

Gerard stops arranging the foods and fruits that he brought that Friday morning on the table. He looks at his younger brother and swallows the lump in his throat.

“You know that all our bills here have been paid, right?” Gerard starts and Mikey nods. “See, the guy who helped us with the foundation? He kinda gave me a job. But it’s a night shift kind of job.”

Gerard really hates lying to his brother.

“That’s great,” Mikey says brightly. He holds his brother’s hand and squeezes it. “But night shift sucks. Hey, why don't you just sleep the whole morning and just go here after lunch?”

“Hey, Mikey. Stop worrying about me, okay?” Gerard squeezes his hand back, tries to fill him with assurance. “You know, I want to spend more time with you.”

“I know, but Gerard you need to sleep and I don’t want you to get sick and─”

“No buts,” Gerard cuts him and Mikey stops talking. “Hey Mikey, speaking of my job, I won’t be able to visit you tomorrow. But I’ll be here Sunday and we’ll have brunch. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Mikey answers with a smile. “Do your best, brother.”

“Thanks Mikey,” Gerard replies and leans forward to drop a kiss on his brother’s forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I will be moving a lot for the next two weeks but I'll try my best to stick updating this fic once a week.~~
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> Your kudos and comments keep me going and I really appreciate it a lot that you take the time to read this fic! Thank you so much! xo


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